Have you ever told someone you live your life a quarter-mile at a time or “dude, where’s my car?”
There’s nothing quite like finding a way to weave your favorite car movie quote into a conversation.
Especially when it’s with someone who has the same strange brain as you.
So we’ve put together the best movie quotes about cars and driving, but we’re going to do it a little different to a usual list.
Most lists rank things from 10-1 based on what’s the best or funniest et cetera.
But we are going to do a draft.
There will be three of us picking from a pool of 12 quotes.
That’s four quotes each.
What the heck is a draft?
If you don’t know how a draft works, it’s the way the NBA, NFL and a bunch of other sports recruit the next batch of big stars.
Let’s use the NBA as an example.
The worst teams of the past season go into a lottery. Team names are printed on tiny little balls that are then picked at random (like Bingo).
Then whatever team has the No. 1 pick can scoop up the best young talent.
The No. 1 pick should be the best player, but it’s not always like that. Take for example the GOAT, Michael Jordan.
He was picked third in the NBA draft of 1984.
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What are the rules?
We will use a random generator to choose the order.
The players are Brandon (me), Louise and Kate.
Once the draft order is decided, we will each take a turn picking our fav quote until there are none left.
Then we will list each person’s team, so you can decide who has the best taste.
Also, I’m using a mix of actor names and character names in scene descriptions.
It’s not consistent but it’s my article so that’s how it is. And we all know Vin Diesel is basically the same person as Dominic Toretto anyway, right?
Okay, so everyone ready? Because the first controversy is who got the No. 1 pick… it was me (it was legit, I swear).
Louise will draft second. Kate is last. Let’s see who gets dunked on.
Here’s how it played out:
Quote: “I live my life a quarter-mile at a time. Nothing else matters. Not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their (expletive). For those 10 seconds or less, I’m free.”
Movie: The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Scene: The most famous line from the Fast franchise, it’s Vin Diesel telling undercover FBI agent Paul Walker exactly what he is all about.
Quote: “Car has a lot of horse power, I’ll go get it.”
Movie: Starsky and Hutch (2004)
Scene: Ben Stiller launches his Ford Gran Torino off of a dock to try and crash it into a yacht with Vince Vaughn’s fleeing villain onboard. The car misses everything and sinks to the ocean floor, with Stiller trying to swim down and get it.
Quote: “I drive real (expletive) fast, so keep up. If I get my car back any different than I gave it, Monster Joe’s gonna be disposing of two bodies.”
Movie: Pulp Fiction (1984)
Scene: Winston “The Wolf” Wolf is a cleaner. He solves problems, particularly the problem of a dead body in the back of John Travolta and Samuel L Jackson’s car. This scene only lasts a few minutes but it’s incredible.
Quote: “I always say, the way a man treats his car is how he treats himself.”
Movie: The Transporter (2002)
Scene: Inspector Tarconi knows the Transporter is dodgy, but he sure does admire the way Jason Statham looks after his Audi.
The No. 1 pick went (by pure chance, I swear) to me – and I crushed it with my first pick. I had to take my guy Vin Diesel.
I literally used this quote last week (on a LinkedIn post obviously).
The Starsky and Hutch quote, that’s a bit of a swerve. I love that movie. I probably didn’t need to use my second pick on it though, I’m pretty sure no one else wanted it (Kate even said, “I don’t understand that quote”, before we started).
The third pick is a chef’s kiss emoji of a scene. I could watch an entire movie just about that character.
And rounding out my draft is The Transporter, I’ll watch anything Jason Statham is in and be absolutely riveted by it.
Overall, my draft is near perfection (if only I got that Talladega Nights quote).
My thoughts on Louise and Kate’s draft picks? See the GIF below:
Quote: “If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you’re gonna see some serious (expletive).”
Movie: Back To The Future (1985)
Scene: We all know this scene, it’s Doc telling Marty McFly how to time travel in the DeLorean. Great scene, great movie, great quote.
Quote: “Ferris, He never drives it! He just rubs it with a diaper!”
Movie: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
Scene: Ferris needs a car to pretend to be the dad of his girlfriend, Sloane, and spring her out from school. The car he wants belongs to his best friend Cameron’s father. It’s also a 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California (one sold in real life a few years ago for $18.5 million!).
Cameron tells Ferris how much his dad loves his car (“more than life itself”). But Ferris, he has a knack of getting his own way….
Quote: “Need I remind you, 007, that you have a license to kill, not to break the traffic laws.”
Movie: GoldenEye (1995)
Scene: The classic James Bond trope of Q showing 007 the gadgets for his next mission. Q is telling Bond about the missiles in his new BMW when Bond quips: “Excellent, just the thing for unwinding after a rough day at the office.” Q responds with the quote above.
Quote: “Everybody can relax, I found the car. Needs some suspension work and shocks, brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear-end….”
Movie: Ghostbusters (1984)
Scene: Dan Akroyd rocks up to the new Ghostbusters HQ in the iconic Ectomobile. Before they give it the movie makeover it’s an old Cadillac ambulance that Akroyd’s character paid $4800 for!
I’m annoyed that Brandon got first pick because I knew which one he was going to select straight off the bat. The Fast & Furious franchise is his entire personality.
One of the most quotable car lines ever is uttered by Vin, so much so it’s made it into my everyday vernacular.
But I’m happy with my first pick, still a quote that’s made it into the pop-culture pantheon.
The Back to the Future films are some of my rainy-day movies from one of my favorite movie franchises (these include the Star Wars trilogy and Indiana Jones trilogy; yes they’re trilogies in my mind, IYKYK).
I hadn’t planned to pick it, but it called to me in the end. Of course, I’m talking about Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. This quote is about arguably one of the most iconic cars in a film.
And this car is on the receiving end of Cameron’s resentment and anger towards his hard-ass father.
John Hughes is one of my favorite filmmakers and it would have been a crime for me not to pick Ferris Bueller.
On the subject of icons, I couldn’t go past GoldenEye. Always been a fan of the cars in James Bond films (Sean Connery and Daniel Craig are my favorite Bonds FYI, not that anyone asked), so why not pick it up in the third round?
Last but not least is Ghostbusters. Though a child of the ‘90s, I feel like I was born in the wrong decade because I love an 80s classic and this pick was from the heart. Had to do it.
Quote: “Dude, where’s my car?”
Movie: Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000)
Scene: This is the scene where they say: “Dude, where’s my car?”
Quote: “This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.”
Movie: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
Scene: Will Ferrell’s NASCAR has a massive ad across his windscreen. He can’t see anything, but the man loves some Fig Newtons. I really wanted to use the “I don’t know what to do with my hands” quote for this movie, but it kinda has nothing to do with cars.
Quote: “I’m just here for the gasoline”
Movie: Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)
Scene: Mel Gibson mainly communicates with grunts in this iconic movie. In fact, IMDB says he only has 16 lines of dialogue in the whole film. Two of those lines are “I only came for the gasoline”.
Quote: “It’s the car right? Chicks love the car.”
Movie: Batman Forever (1995)
Scene: Val Kilmer and Nicole Kidman are flirting outrageously, standing on a rooftop with the bat signal light shining. He’s in the full rubber Batman suit and asks Kidman if she’s “trying to get under my cape”. It’s a weird scene.
Look, we all get desperate enough to cheat every now and then. And that’s exactly what Brandon did. Brandon was so desperate to win the game that he rigged the draft so he got first pick. It’s fine, because I still managed to get the best two quotes in the draft.
Dude, Where’s My Car? – this movie represents my childhood.
I still remember watching it as an awkward pre-teen and cringing at all the inappropriate scenes as my mum watched it beside me….
Despite the awkwardness, it’s still one of the best movies out there – in large part because it starred Ashton Kutcher who was my teen crush (still probably is).
This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons! – you can just HEAR Will Ferrell saying this. The guy sold an ad on his windshield and wins the race… need I say more? Brilliant.
And as for the last two quotes, I couldn’t care less about them to be honest.
I picked them because they sounded cool (and because the options were running out fast) but I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mad Max 2 (or the original Mad Max for that matter) and I definitely haven’t seen Batman Forever (1995).
I was four when it came out… fight me.